Wednesday, November 28, 2012

I Won the Lottery!

Ok, so the chances of that actually happening are even less than 1 in 750,000,000 since I didn't buy a ticket. I'm gambling on the the hopes that one of my family members or close friends has the winning ticket. And that they remember to share with their family members and close friends.

But I have to admit that all this hype over the $550,000,000 jackpot is a little bit tempting. I mean just look at all those zeros.

Seriously though, what would I even to with all that money? Sure I would donate a ton of it to various charities. And I would pay off the house. And the car. And my kids' college tuitions. And I would travel the world. Oh, and I would share it with my family and close friends.

But after all of that, there would still be money left over. So here are a few things I would do with the leftover money.
  • Pay somebody to make Caillou's voice considerably less whiny and annoying. Seriously, what 4-year-old is really that whiny? (And this is coming from a mom with a really whiny 4-year-old.)
  • Launch a line of kid's toys that actually do what the adult versions do. If those toy vacuums and lawn mowers actually cleaned and mowed the lawn, I'd never have to touch my vacuum cleaner again. Not that I touch it much now...but I digressed.
  • And while I'm on an inventing kick, I might as well invent a dryer that actually folds the clothes too.
  • Create a mom's version of Pinterest. Let me clarify. A version of Pinterest that normal moms could actually use. Like how to not burn freezer food instead of how to build the Eiffel Tower out of uneaten peanut butter and jelly crusts.
  • One word: Wine. And lots of it. Heck, maybe I could even buy a vineyard.

I'm starting to think maybe I should go buy one of those tickets after all.

I'm seriously considering paying someone to make this kid less annoying, even if I don't win the lottery. I might have to sacrifice the boys' college funds, but it would be money well spent.

1 comment:

  1. This post had me laughing from beginning to end. I seriously wonder the same thing about the toy vaccum. Why can't it actually vaccum?