Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Four Ways to Scare Mom

As parents, we have endless things to worry about: Keeping our kids healthy, keeping them safe, keeping them from picking their noses in public…

But on top of all the day-to-day worries, I have found four things that don't just worry me... they scare the living you-know-what out of me.

1. A missing crayon. Chase loves to color. And for the most part he’s pretty good with crayons and markers. But he’s two, and I know all too well what can happen if he gets a hold of a crayon while he’s unsupervised. Furniture and walls – especially the light-colored ones – are like an artist’s blank canvas to a 2-year-old. So when Chase is done coloring and we put away the crayons, I have a moment of panic when I can only find 23 out of the 24 crayons.

Let's see... I have Burnt Sienna, Hot Magenta, Neon Carrot, Outrageous Orange... But where is the Atomic Tangerine? CHASE - get back here!

2. One (hyphenated) word: Uh-oh. Basically, "uh-oh" in 4-year-old translates to "Oh s#!%" in adult language. When I hear Alec yell "uh-oh," I know that it can mean anything from one of my boys spilling a cup of milk to one of them flushing his brother’s favorite stuffed animal down the toilet…or anything in between.

3. A missing marble. Similar to the missing crayon, but for a very different reason. My boys love the game Hungry Hungry Hippos. If you’re familiar with it, you probably already know that it contains 20 marbles. When I put this game away and realize that we only have 19 marbles, I feel a sudden panic similar to that of the missing crayon. The difference between the crayon and marble is that with the crayon, I need to worry about what part of my house was destroyed, but with a missing marble, I need to worry about which child ingested it or shoved it into his (or his brother’s) ear, nose or an even worse part of the body.

Look at all these marbles....and I'm pretty sure there is a corresponding body part in which a child can find to place each one.

4. Silence. Silence can be a wonderful thing when it comes to children. Those first 10 minutes after the kids are in bed are absolute heaven to my ears! No one is whining, yelling, crying, singing or making gross noises with their armpits. But silence can also be a very scary feeling. If you have or have had young children, I’m sure you know the feeling… You go to fold a load of laundry while your kids are happily playing. At some point while you’re folding, you subconsciously realize that the kids are being nice and quiet. When you’re done folding you now consciously realize that you haven’t heard your kids in a while. It is in that exact moment when you realize that the house is TOO quiet. Why is it too quiet? Probably because your 2-year-old has found the missing crayon...

31 comments:

  1. I can totally relate to the counting of toys although I have a added reason to count, I have a dog who will eat toys. I spend a large portion of my days making sure that all toys, and sippy cups, are accounted for.

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  2. Oh the quiet is the worse. You think for once you sleep in, but then you worry if everything is okay because it's so quiet. I also do this with the dog if he sleeps past 6AM! Stopping by from SITS today.

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  3. Awww... I know what you mean!

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  4. Silence is a big one! I loved the caption under the crayons. Who comes up with those names anyway? Stopping over from SITS. :)

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  5. I KNOW!!!! I'm terrified of the silence! It's generally while I'm revelling in the fact that no-one has wailed my name in a while that I get the cold sweats and think, "why??" at which time I charge to the last place I saw them!

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  6. I remember these days well. Now I pray they will tell me what happened to cause the tears and that the mother driving them home from some event is trustworthy!

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  7. Ha ha ha!! I am cracking up...you are so right with this post! Hope you have a very happy SITS day! :)

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  8. Hahaha. Yes, yes, yes, and yes. Silence is golden and terrifying. Happy SITS Day!

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  9. This is too funny. The silence scares me as well, but as our girls are still young, I haven't had to worry about the rest yet. My time is soon coming...

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  10. Stopping by from SITS. Quiet...ahh I love it. Well, until I realize the kids are home...and it's quiet. That NEVER equates to good. Once quiet meant they got into a sharpie marker hubby left out, another meant they were cutting hair, and a few various other disasters. I usually just go "oops...let's pretend I totally didn't let this happen. Tell no one!"

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  11. Totally agree!! The Uh oh I haven't gotten to yet, but the SILENCE! The silence is never golden, ever!

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  12. So true - "Uh-oh" is never good news. :)

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  13. The silence one is always a double edged sword!

    Happy SITS Day!

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  14. Great list! I remember those days. Now I love a silent house because it means my teenagers are either getting along or ignoring each other. I'll take it.

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  15. Nice list. Uh-oh and quiet are definitely up there. Missing Legos were on my list especially since I'm usually barefoot. Not the way you want to find them. Enjoy your SITS Day. Today I posted http://www.eaglesclawsanctuary.com/2012/11/06/writing-passion/

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  16. I absolutely adore this post! Congrats on your SITS day I am sure you are soaking it up right now! Anyways, I totally feel you on ALL of these. I have a two year old daughter who is notorious for these things. Especially the crayon bit. And the silence one... too funny! Hope to see more of you :)

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  17. Silence is never golden when your children are up.
    I was babysitting my nephew and I was young..high school so I wasn't trained in these things. I thought he was just being good and quiet. He was about 4. I went to the bathroom and left him in the living room and from the bathroom, I thought, wow - he's really quiet. I came out to HORROR! I somehow had left the fridge open and he taken the tub of margarine and scooped some out and painted the kitchen walls, cabinets and fridge with margarine.

    It was the worst cleaning I've ever had to do because it was greasy!

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  18. I love this! And I totally agree with every one!! Happy SITS day!!

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  19. AWWW. Hungry Hungry Hippos is the death of me!! :)

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  20. Amen!! Man, when there is silence- I go running!

    Happy SITS day!

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  21. Hah - just wait until they are teenagers - boy will this list change!!! But I'll say no more than to suggest that you enjoy these years while they last!!!!

    Uh-oh is still bad, by the way. :-)

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  22. I buy Magic Eraser by the caseload for that very reason!

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  23. When we were kids, my little brother stuck a marble-size ball from a Christmas tree ornament way up his nose. It remains one of my favorite interesting-ER-visits stories.

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  24. Happy SITS Day,

    My room mate has a 14 month old that I nanny. Our apartment is small, we keep all the doors closed, the baby gate up to the kitchen and basically only allow her in the dining room, living room and her room which are all completely baby proof. Until she is quiet and then we realize that oh no, maybe it's not as baby proof as we thought. Or she just fell asleep somewhere (which happens a lot). She hasn't discovered Crayons, Marbles nor does she have a sibling so thankfully I don't have to worry about that.

    Sara
    http://saraivy.org

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  25. hilarious and so true...especially the last one! After growing up with 5 sisters and now having a son myself, I swear, nothing good comes from a silent child (well, maybe an older kid who is quietly reading or something...MAYBE).

    happy SITS day!

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  26. Very Funny, I don't have two boys, just one girl, but she is a little fire cracker. Hope you had a great SITS day (did I miss it?)

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  27. Silence is def a scary thing in our house. That's when we know they are really up to something

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  28. Hilarious!! Hope you had a great SITS day! I['m a day late, but still loving your blog!

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  29. Although I have no children I thoroughly enjoyed this and could appreciate it.

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  30. LOL it's all so true!! so very very true!! I loved this post :)

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  31. Ha! That's so true about the silence. I had a cousin like that. If you couldn't hear him, you'd better go looking for him quickly...

    Happy SITS day!

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