Four Ways to Scare Mom

As parents, we have endless things to worry about: Keeping our kids healthy, keeping them safe, keeping them from picking their noses in public…

But on top of all the day-to-day worries, I have found four things that don't just worry me... they scare the living you-know-what out of me.

1. A missing crayon. Chase loves to color. And for the most part he’s pretty good with crayons and markers. But he’s two, and I know all too well what can happen if he gets a hold of a crayon while he’s unsupervised. Furniture and walls – especially the light-colored ones – are like an artist’s blank canvas to a 2-year-old. So when Chase is done coloring and we put away the crayons, I have a moment of panic when I can only find 23 out of the 24 crayons.

Let's see... I have Burnt Sienna, Hot Magenta, Neon Carrot, Outrageous Orange... But where is the Atomic Tangerine? CHASE - get back here!

2. One (hyphenated) word: Uh-oh. Basically, "uh-oh" in 4-year-old translates to "Oh s#!%" in adult language. When I hear Alec yell "uh-oh," I know that it can mean anything from one of my boys spilling a cup of milk to one of them flushing his brother’s favorite stuffed animal down the toilet…or anything in between.

3. A missing marble. Similar to the missing crayon, but for a very different reason. My boys love the game Hungry Hungry Hippos. If you’re familiar with it, you probably already know that it contains 20 marbles. When I put this game away and realize that we only have 19 marbles, I feel a sudden panic similar to that of the missing crayon. The difference between the crayon and marble is that with the crayon, I need to worry about what part of my house was destroyed, but with a missing marble, I need to worry about which child ingested it or shoved it into his (or his brother’s) ear, nose or an even worse part of the body.

Look at all these marbles....and I'm pretty sure there is a corresponding body part in which a child can find to place each one.

4. Silence. Silence can be a wonderful thing when it comes to children. Those first 10 minutes after the kids are in bed are absolute heaven to my ears! No one is whining, yelling, crying, singing or making gross noises with their armpits. But silence can also be a very scary feeling. If you have or have had young children, I’m sure you know the feeling… You go to fold a load of laundry while your kids are happily playing. At some point while you’re folding, you subconsciously realize that the kids are being nice and quiet. When you’re done folding you now consciously realize that you haven’t heard your kids in a while. It is in that exact moment when you realize that the house is TOO quiet. Why is it too quiet? Probably because your 2-year-old has found the missing crayon...