Thursday, August 16, 2012

Are We There Yet?

My GPS will tell you that it takes 6 hours and 17 minutes to drive from my house to my mom's house. I will tell you that a "normal" trip, factoring in traffic and two kids under the age of 5, takes closer to 8 hours. The trip that I just made took almost 10 hours. And Chad did not go along this time. So it was 10 hours of me driving over the river and through the woods in a van with two boys and a dog. Now my kids are pretty good travelers, but this trip was definitely some kind of a test for me.

Hour 1: The boys are set up with their stuffed animals and their DVD players and are super excited about going to see Grandma and Grandpa.

Hour 2: It's pouring rain. Alec asks if we are there yet. Chase is tired of watching his DVD.

Hour 3: Their DVDs are over, and since I am the one driving I can't get them a new one. Alec asks if we are there yet. Good thing I brought lots of snacks.

Hour 4: We stop for gas. Alec asks if we are there. We go to the McDonald's next to the gas station. I take the dog out to stretch and relieve herself, and then the kids and I go in to go potty and get a snack. We come out to the car to find that the dog had not properly cleansed herself, and there is now dog poop all over the passenger seat of the car. Fortunately I had put a towel down, and also fortunately she stayed in the same seat. I load the boys in the car and crumple up the towel. Why does the dog only ever have poop issues when Chad isn't with me? This must be my payback for Chase's bathtub poop incident with Chad.

Hour 5: The dog is now clean, and the boys are once again situated in their seats with a new DVD and strawberry banana smoothies.

Hour 6: Good thing we stopped because now we're in stop-and-go traffic. Chase gets bored with his DVD and starts playing with his headphones. The headphones lose. He begins singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. He goes on to sing every song he knows to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle.

Hour 7: We're still in stop-and-go traffic. Did you know that you can get a really good leg work out, just by moving your foot back and forth between the gas and brake pedals for two hours straight? Alec asks if we are there yet.

Hour 8: It was not a good idea to give a 4-year-old who gets carsick a strawberry banana smoothie on a long car ride. Time for an unplanned second stop to clean up the car and the kid as best as possible. Good thing I had an extra case of wipes in the car.

Hour 9: No more traffic, but we're all ready to be there. Chase has not stopped talking or singing or whining since he broke his headphones three hours ago. It's amazing how many songs can be sung to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, including Old MacDonald and a Chase original, Bookie Bookie, which is basically the same word repeated over and over to the Twinkle tune. I'm sure you could sing it right now if you really want to. Alec is still looking green but keeps telling me he is hungry. We'll try animal crackers and hope for the best.

Hour 10: We finally arrive with no more incidents. Alec asks if we are there. I can finally give him the answer he wants to hear. I had called my mom to warn her that we had a dog towel, car seat pad and Alec's clothes that all needed to go in the washer as soon as we got there. She must be so glad to see us.

Considering I actually survived the trip to my mom's, I figure I passed the test. We had a really nice visit, and the trip back home was very uneventful and took only 8 hours. I did not get the boys smoothies.


  1. You definitely deserve a medal!

    Visiting from SITS :)

  2. Oh my! Doesn't this stuff always happen when Daddy's not around? I figured out I had a toddler that got motion sick halfway through a flight with two kids by myself!

    Visiting from SITS!

  3. Aren't children fun!? Wow, this was quite an adventure...I am surprised you had the nerve to go back - I think I would have chickened out and put them on a plane... by themselves ;)

    I hope you had a fantastic SITS day yesterday!