Are We There Yet?

My GPS will tell you that it takes 6 hours and 17 minutes to drive from my house to my mom's house. I will tell you that a "normal" trip, factoring in traffic and two kids under the age of 5, takes closer to 8 hours. The trip that I just made took almost 10 hours. And Chad did not go along this time. So it was 10 hours of me driving over the river and through the woods in a van with two boys and a dog. Now my kids are pretty good travelers, but this trip was definitely some kind of a test for me.

Hour 1: The boys are set up with their stuffed animals and their DVD players and are super excited about going to see Grandma and Grandpa.

Hour 2: It's pouring rain. Alec asks if we are there yet. Chase is tired of watching his DVD.

Hour 3: Their DVDs are over, and since I am the one driving I can't get them a new one. Alec asks if we are there yet. Good thing I brought lots of snacks.

Hour 4: We stop for gas. Alec asks if we are there. We go to the McDonald's next to the gas station. I take the dog out to stretch and relieve herself, and then the kids and I go in to go potty and get a snack. We come out to the car to find that the dog had not properly cleansed herself, and there is now dog poop all over the passenger seat of the car. Fortunately I had put a towel down, and also fortunately she stayed in the same seat. I load the boys in the car and crumple up the towel. Why does the dog only ever have poop issues when Chad isn't with me? This must be my payback for Chase's bathtub poop incident with Chad.

Hour 5: The dog is now clean, and the boys are once again situated in their seats with a new DVD and strawberry banana smoothies.

Hour 6: Good thing we stopped because now we're in stop-and-go traffic. Chase gets bored with his DVD and starts playing with his headphones. The headphones lose. He begins singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. He goes on to sing every song he knows to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle.

Hour 7: We're still in stop-and-go traffic. Did you know that you can get a really good leg work out, just by moving your foot back and forth between the gas and brake pedals for two hours straight? Alec asks if we are there yet.

Hour 8: It was not a good idea to give a 4-year-old who gets carsick a strawberry banana smoothie on a long car ride. Time for an unplanned second stop to clean up the car and the kid as best as possible. Good thing I had an extra case of wipes in the car.

Hour 9: No more traffic, but we're all ready to be there. Chase has not stopped talking or singing or whining since he broke his headphones three hours ago. It's amazing how many songs can be sung to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, including Old MacDonald and a Chase original, Bookie Bookie, which is basically the same word repeated over and over to the Twinkle tune. I'm sure you could sing it right now if you really want to. Alec is still looking green but keeps telling me he is hungry. We'll try animal crackers and hope for the best.

Hour 10: We finally arrive with no more incidents. Alec asks if we are there. I can finally give him the answer he wants to hear. I had called my mom to warn her that we had a dog towel, car seat pad and Alec's clothes that all needed to go in the washer as soon as we got there. She must be so glad to see us.

Considering I actually survived the trip to my mom's, I figure I passed the test. We had a really nice visit, and the trip back home was very uneventful and took only 8 hours. I did not get the boys smoothies.

A Week in Florida with no Leapster

We just got back from a week of family vacation in Florida. This was our first relatively long vacation as a family, and if I'm being honest I was a little bit scared. Ok, if I'm being totally honest I was terrified.

I wasn't scared of flying or of encountering Jaws in the ocean. I was scared that we would be driving each other crazy stuck in a small space that was hundreds of miles away from our home.

My executive decision to leave Alec's Leapster home did not help with my fear. At home I let him play with his Leapster a bit every day if he wants to, but this week I wanted him to experience our vacation without his nose glued to a 3-inch screen. So I was completely anticipating a melt down when he realized it was back home...but I'll get to that later.

Believe it or not, our vacation was actually somewhat relaxing, despite Tropical Storm Debby arriving at the end of our trip. The boys loved being in a different place. They loved the ocean and sand. They really loved the kid's museum that we found on a rainy day. They just loved the adventure all around.

Our view pre-Debby

The same view after Debby arrived

As with other trips I've taken, I used this vacation as an opportunity to reflect on my life and learn about myself. When Chad and I were in New York City last year, I was reminded of my stay-at-home mom wardrobe and my blessing of having wonderful family in my life, among other things (see What New York Taught Me About Being a Parent). Here is what our trip to Florida reinforced to me:

My kids are awesome. 

I mean, I knew that -- but sometimes I forget how awesome they really are. One example of how they were so awesome on this particular vacation was the way they handled a 17-hour return trip that was only supposed to take seven hours. I'll save the details for a possible future blog on my new opinions of United Airlines and why I will never fly them again.

Let's just say that my boys handled a 10-hour airport imprisonment like champs. In fact, they handled it better than Chad and I did.

While Chad and I stomped around muttering angry statements under our breath, Alec and Chase ran around squealing with delight at our airport adventure. Sure they got bored and were tired (after all, they were up at 6:15am, and we didn't get back to our house until 11:30pm). But they had fun exploring the airport, going up and down escalators, jumping over lines on the floor and spending quality time with Mom, Dad and Grandma. I'm sure they now know Dulles airport better than most of the employees there know it.  

I'm getting older. 

Ok, I also knew this one. But one particular experience in Florida made sure to remind me of this fact. We had passed a fun-looking place called the Daiquiri Shak a few times, so one evening Chad's mom stayed back at the condo after the boys were asleep so that Chad and I could try it out. When we arrived, we saw that there was a rather large crowd and a band playing. Neither of these bothered us, so we found a seat at one of the few remaining empty tables.

After we were settled and had ordered our daiquiris, we took a better look at the crowd and realized that there was a birthday party going on. Without judging (too much), I will guess that the members of the birthday party were in about their low to mid 20s and liked to party. Chad and I were quickly surrounded by dozens of people wearing neon pink hats with their names on them, guzzling beers with neon straws. The names on the hats ranged anywhere from Aimee to Smash and Big Taco.

Once I was able to tear my attention away from Big Taco, I started to pay closer attention to the band, which was way louder than it needed to be. Despite the volume of the band, their song selection wasn't bad. But their performance was terrible. They went from playing an incredibly out of tune version of "Kryptonite" to an even worse version of "Play that Funky Music."

When the band finally stopped playing long enough for Chad and me to hear each other talk, we both agreed that this was not our cup of tea. So when our daiquiris came, we chugged them faster than Big Taco could probably chug a beer, paid our tab and headed straight back to our condo. It wasn't even 9:00pm yet, but all I could think about was getting back to the couch and curling up with the latest Janet Evanovich book that I was in the middle of reading.

At some point in my life I could have been one of the people sporting a neon hat and partying to a bad band. But this defining moment made me realize that I have definitely moved on to an "older" phase in my life.

I have incredible family.

Hey, just because New York reminded me of this doesn't mean Florida can't remind me as well. Chad's mom came along with us on our trip, and I'm pretty sure I would have been a stressed out mess if she weren't there. The boys adore her, and she's pretty fond of them as well, so she spent a good amount of time playing with the boys and keeping them entertained. If Chase was napping, Alec would have "special Grandma time" that he looked forward to every day. And Chad and I even got to go out to two dinners by ourselves (not including the Daiquiri Shak!) while she stayed back and had pizza or Chinese food with the boys.

Headed out to dinner without the kids

Children are always learning.

One of the reasons that I think my boys did so well on this trip was because it was a learning experience for them. To them it wasn't about tropical storms or delayed airplanes or men in pink hats that say Big Taco. It was about learning. Learning what sand feels like. Learning first hand where dolphins live. Learning how to turn the reading lights in an airplane on (and off, and on, and off, and on...). Learning that there are other places in the world that have museums for kids that are just as good (and in this case way better) than the ones that we have at home.

Sure they'll learn most of these things in school, but learning it first hand makes it so much more exciting. There's something about experiencing things in person that just can't be expressed in a text book or even movie.

Honestly, this is the main reason I didn't want Alec to bring his Leapster. Sure it may have made the 10-hour delay a little bit easier. And it would have been a quick solution to the (very few) times when he got bored on the trip. But he survived without it and learned so much more in this week than he will probably ever learn with his Leapster, despite some of the fairly educational games that come along with it.

Alec learning about stingrays at the Florida Aquarium

Chase learning about seashells on the beach

I am so glad that my boys embraced traveling as well as they did. I love to travel, and it gives me hope that we will be able to have many more successful adventures together as a family. Hopefully exposing them to these opportunities as they grow up will show them that there is a whole other world out there with so much to see. And if it doesn't, at least I know I've done what I can.

Oh, and the Leapster? Alec didn't even ask about it once the whole week.

What New York Taught Me About Being a Parent

Chad and I just got back from an incredible week-long trip to New York City. Without the kids. While some people may not even be able to fathom being away from their young children for this long period of time, I embraced it with open arms.

The way I look at it is this: There are 8,760 hours in a year. I was away from my children for approximately 175 of these hours. Now I'm not a math genius by any means, but I'm pretty sure that 175 out of 8,760 really isn't that much. In fact, that still leaves 8,585 glorious hours to spend with my children every year. Obviously I'm not with my boys every second of these 8,585 hours, but I think you get my point. Just to put things in perspective, a person working a 40 hour per week job is at their job for just over 2,000 hours each year (2,080 to be exact), not including vacation or sick time.
While I thoroughly enjoyed our week of being Kim and Chad instead of Mommy and Daddy, being away from my boys for this period of time made me realize a few things about being a parent. Actually, I should say that it reinforced a few things that I already knew.

1. I definitely have the wardrobe of a stay-at-home mom. And there's no place better than the Big Apple to show me this. I haven't worked outside the home for over five years, which means I don't have anyone telling me how to dress. And since most of my days are spent on the floor playing with children, fighting with messy diapers, wiping up spills and being spilled on, I can't really justify paying lots of money for good clothes. Because of this, my wardrobe mostly consists of t-shirts, sweatpants, old shorts and sweatshirts. If I absolutely have to go out in public with the kids, I do have some jeans I can throw on at the last minute, and maybe if I'm lucky I can find a shirt without some kind of stain on it. But for the most part I live in comfy, less-than-casual clothes. For the times I actually get to escape the house without kids I have a few nice pants left over from my office days, and I have some nice shirts in the mix, mostly courtesy of my mom. But as I quickly realized when packing for our trip, I barely have enough "nice" outfits to get me through one week. And New York is basically the capital of trendy dressing, so it was pretty obvious I was an outsider.


On the Brooklyn Bridge. Yes, that is a sweatshirt tied around my waist. And I'm sure no one will ever know that my sunglasses were only $5 at Charlotte Russe. Oh, and the shirt? That's a "hand-me-up" from my younger sister who is the queen of shopping and trends.


2. Being a parent is truly a 24-7 job, even when I'm not with my kids. It's amazing how I can be doing something completely unrelated to children or being a parent when all of the sudden I'll think about my boys. In New York I could be sitting in a crowded theater listening to someone sing about Mormons, when all of the sudden my mind would drift to, "I wonder what the boys are doing now." Or I could be watching police cars zooming down the streets of New York, and I would think, "Alec would love seeing those sirens!" And my personal favorite was our first dinner there at a hummus restaurant where there was a little girl about Chase's age who was being incredibly well-behaved. She was there with her mom and dad for at least an hour and a half, and she was just as happy as could be sitting in her high chair. I couldn't help looking at her amongst all the chickpeas and pitas and thinking that Chase would never sit still that long or be that good in a restaurant! So even though my boys weren't physically with us, my mind just couldn't stop being a mom.

3. Being a parent involves making some pretty major sacrifices. This is one of those statements that everyone makes about having children, but I don't think anyone really realizes the full impact of this statement until after having children. At least I didn't. While I love my children immensely and wouldn't trade them for the world, I do have to admit that spending a week in NYC made me miss the freedom of those pre-child days just a little bit. Not so much the little every day freedoms, like actually finishing a magazine during the month that it came out. But more the "big life choices" kind of freedoms. The main decision I made in my life that I feel was a sacrifice for my family was where we live. The Harrisburg, PA area is a great place to live in the sense that it has excellent schools and it's pretty central to lots of day-trip/long weekend type locations like New York, Washington, D.C., Baltimore and Philadelphia. We also have access to tons of cultural events and family activities just minutes away from us. Plus, most of my husband's family is within 15 miles of us, and my family is about a half-day's drive away. And I guess if you're a fan of the change in seasons it's a pretty good location too (afterall, we do have the four seasons of tornado, hurricane, ice storm and heat wave). But if I were only thinking of myself, Harrisburg would not be where I would want to live. Topping my list of dream places to live are Phoenix, San Diego and (drumroll please) New York City! So I think you can see how "living" in one of my dream cities for a week could make me just a tad envious of those who do live there (and in case you're wondering, spending a week there didn't change my mind about wanting to live there... if anything it made me want it more!). I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with raising a family in New York (or Phoenix or San Diego); it's just not how or where Chad and I decided we wanted to raise our boys. So I took one for the  team and settled down in the school district where Chad and I both graduated from, where we know first-hand the opportunities that are available and the quality of the education that our boys will receive.


Times Square on one of our nightly adventures. What is there NOT to love about this place? Ok, maybe I can think of a few things, but I'd still love to live here!


4. I am very very very lucky to have wonderful family to help me out. As I mentioned earlier, Chad's family lives very close to us, and my family is not super-close but still a day-trip away. Fortunately, all of our parents are very willing to help us out with the boys. Chad's mom or dad will usually watch the boys when we want to go out to dinner or we both have a commitment at the same time. My mom or dad will take the boys for our longer babysitting needs, like this vacation. We are so fortunate that our family is both willing and able to do this for us. It really makes our lives a lot easier! (We always say that the one plus-side to two sets of divorced parents is extra babysitters!)


This was just one of over 20 meals that I got to enjoy completely uninterrupted! Family is the best!


5. Even though I love my boys immensely, I still need time away from them. And I'm not talking time like a lunch out or a trip to the mall. I need an occasional multi-day break. I could sit here and tell you how hard it was for me to be away from my boys for a whole week...but then I would be lying. Sure I missed them. And yes I spent a good amount of time wondering what they were doing and looking at photos of them on my phone just to see them. But I knew they were in good hands with grandparents. I also feel that I am a better mother, wife and person when I have some extended time away from my kids. It really gives me a chance to relax, build up my energy and actually take time for me. Plus, they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I guess whoever "they" is actually knew what they were talking about!

The end of our vacation. I look (and feel!) so much more relaxed and less stressed than I did at the beginning (though whether that was the lack of kids or the watermelon martini I just downed is still questionable...)

By the end of the week, I couldn't wait to see my boys and give them both a huge hug. I felt completely rejuvenated and ready to tackle anything. I was ready to be Mommy again.

Chad and I have our tenth wedding anniversary coming up in May, and we're already thinking about taking another kid-free trip to celebrate. Realistically though this won't happen until our eleventh or twelfth anniversary...at least. I'm not ready to leave my boys for another week just yet, but I'm sure by then I will be! And who knows what I will learn about being a parent from that adventure...